ANDERSON JOHN HEINZ

PLAYWRIGHT / WHATEVER

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FULL LENGTHS


THE PRINCES OF PRINCE STREET

"It’s something like what you felt like two days ago. Ponder that please, then tell me. What do you think of when you think of two days ago?"


painted brick / white houses

"You think I’m perfect? I’m no better than anybody else. All of us are sinners. 'For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.' What separates us is how we go about fixing what we messed up. There’s those who pray and those who don’t. You have to work at it. People wanna forget that. But it takes a lot of work to maintain a relationship with God. And there is so much you can fix by just praying on it. Just talking to God. Telling Him what’s on your mind, letting yourself listen to His guidance. It comes to you, if you keep praying. You just gotta keep talking. And you gotta keep keeping faith that He’s listening."


BABY ALLEN

"We're gonna call it Roofie Roulette."


STILL LIFE IN A MILE-DEEP BATHUB

music & lyrics by Andrew Hanley / book & lyrics by Anderson John Heinz

"My father left Paris in 1983. He took a brief sabbatical to a town in Thailand. He was in a bar and met a painter. Russian man who did portraits. Stav. Stav was enamored with my father, ya know. They became friendly. My father sprawled out in his claw foot tub, arms dangling, head back and loose, like a goddess from some other planet. Stav who did portraits called it Mile-Deep Bathtub."

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island people

"Kevin’s parents are so sweet. They're from Chattanooga. In Tennessee. They live by a mountain. Well, you can see it. From the windows. But they were born in the Midwest, and you can kind of tell. Kindest souls. I mean, you must be! To have done what they did. What they’ve done. What they did for Kevin. For their son. Bringing over a little baby from Korea. That’s the doing of a kind soul! Little Baby Kevin From Korea. But they’re old now. I mean, they were well into their 40s when they adopted him. So. And they’re not poor. I mean, their house is fine. My mother thinks it’s dirty. She’s always like 'It’s dirty. It smells. It’s dusty. It’s musty.' It’s not! It’s just a little run down. If anything. Not so stylish. My mother is very Southern Living. She’s got the Southern Living app on her iPad. She’s addicted to Pinterest. I bet Cindy’s never even opened a Southern Living. Cindy. That’s Kevin’s mom. She’s the kindest, most fragile soul. And I’ve gotten used to the home she keeps. The home my husband comes from. The home she and George keep together. George. That’s Kevin’s father. He had an accident when he was- just right about when he was about to turn 50, when Kevin was 4- and he’s in a wheelchair now. Poor Kevin. Poor George. Poor Sheila. Really, poor Cindy. Beyond all else."


LYMPH NODES WE LOVED TOO MUCH TO LET GO

"Yeah, he hugged me and when he did he grabbed my waist, tight with his hands. His fingers rubbed my bones, but then he dug his fingers into me, in a way that kinda hurt, into the, space between my waist and my groin. I did feel my body sort of melt, in that moment. Bend. Maybe that's kind of feminine, maybe I am, maybe that's being gay, or how I'm gonna be. I don't really know."

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SHORT PLAYS


THE WHITE CASTLE

"I do wish I could find a VHS tape with more time on it- more whatever’s in there- so I could have Baby start it up at 6:30 so I could see Vanna White, and I used to think Pat Sajack had the most enviable job in the world- I still do I guess but Vanna does so little talking- maybe she’s got it better and that’s something I could do, turning letters, well tapping them now- but I’m not attractive."


HEY! I HEARD YOU WERE A WILD ONE

"I'm doing this new cleanse. It's called Thailand."


GOD OF PCB, 2009

"Some people, like some guys were really violent, like I wouldn’t say violent in a way that I was like necessarily scared but definitely like if they wanted to, they could really hurt someone, something, and it was like, well everyone was so, well just excited the whole time, kind of, amped, jacked, spiced, pumped up, very pumped, and you could kind of see that violence kind of peaking out, and maybe sometimes coming out, and that I found kind of scary but also I guess I also found it nice, and kind of like I wanted to touch it with the skin on the tips of my fingers, um."


THE BANQUET TABLE

"Said to myself, You better put down that champagne! Better stop taking so many sips, so many bubbles! Bubbles go flittin’ through my curls after they pass right up through my head! But it’s my night, and I’m the loveliest girl in this town or any other. And bubbles make my feet refuse to speak to my brain. We danced and we danced and we kissed and we danced and we laughed and we kissed, and I forgot where I was- and what dreams are- and what steps my feet were stepping- and that beneath me was black and white linoleum. To be quite candid, I was blissfully intoxicated. I didn’t even feel the rain. And I didn’t know who was around me or where I was- just that I was in white and I was a wife. When my eyes remembered what seeing was, I looked and saw mud. Brown. Brown, wet on the white! Brown, all covered and like the art of a beautiful child. And I saw arms and felt the water and remembered what thinking was and felt the flood. And I couldn’t see my love or anyone but arms with no faces and faces with no arms and shouts I couldn’t hear and my dress covered in the paint of a child I’ll never have and the banquet table. And I felt the arms lifting me, and I don’t know where I was- but I was the bride- and I was floating like my head- and I was blissfully intoxicated! And we forgot about the rain because you have to forget about the rain because the tables were set- and the flowers were arranged- and the tents were drawn- and everything was white- and rain is just water! And the arms found my body- and my body found this table- and it was my wedding- and my white was covered in mud- and the arms disappeared- and I wasn’t a wife- and I don’t know where I am."

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